We were invited to a Birthday BBQ this weekend, and as it started early afternoon, children were invited along too. The Birthday Boy was Dave, the local Squash Club manager - and Beer Monster supreme.. A bouncy castle had been set up, and Kristen was on it within minutes of us getting there.  Thirty minutes or so later - a few more children turned up, mainly little boys, who also couldn't wait to get onto the bouncy castle... Within a few minutes, Kristen was out and running up to us, explaing that none of the boys would talk to her... She then started picking some wild flowers, and told Karen that they were for the boys, and that if she gave them all flowers, they might talk to her... Well, as you'd expect then boys had no interest in Kristen or her flowers... Heartbreaking - but I guess one of lifes little lessons....

 

Towards the end of the afternoon, Lauren was starting to get hungry - so we told Kristen that she had 5 more minutes to go and bounce, and then we had to go. She was back 2 minutes later sobbing, as one of the boys had bushed her over, and told her not to move - to which she replied - "but my Dad said I have 5 more minutes" ..... She cried most of the way home, and even now, still tells us about that naughty boy !!...

 

 

Yesterday when I got home from work, Kristen greeted me with a "Daddy, I've been bad". She's very good at owning up when she knows she's been naughty...  Apparently Karen was feeding Lauren, and Kristen kept interfering, which led to several warnings, and then a smacked hand. Well, as soon as Kristen told me this, I told her that she has to do what Mummy tells, her - well the flood gates opened and she started sobbing and sobbing.... I picked her up, and she was shaking, and then she said..

 

Sob... sob... sob... I... sob... sob... can't... sob... sob.. talk... sob... sob... sob... Daddy... Ahhh Bless her....

 

She soon calmed down, and said sorry to Mummy, and everyone was bestest buddies again....

As I was getting dressed for work this morning, Kristen came into the bedroom, and asked if she could go to work with me.  I told her that she wouldn't like it, as there were no toys, book, or crayons for her to play with....

 

As I got on my bike to leave, Kristen appeared at the window with a handful of crayons for me, so that Daddy could have some fun at work....

Well, we're both feeling a little disappointed this morning.... We went out for dinner last night, and (in our opinion) the best restaurant in Bermuda was closed for the week, so we went to the Harbour Front instead...   The food wasn't bad - it just wasn't as good as we'd had in the Newport room.. We still had a nice time - any night out we get is a real bonus - but you can't help feeling that the seven course gourmet chefs sampler, with accompanied wine selection would have been better ....

 

 

OK, OK - it's been months since I've added anything, and I am giving myself a good spank as I type.... Before anyone says anything - this is not a New Years resolution - it's just me deciding to add an update - to what was a very eventful 2006..

 

During the 20 week checkup, we were told that the baby had a Choroid Plexus Cyst - which in essence is a bubble of fluid on the brain.. Although pretty common, this still caused much anxiety as you can imagine, as it can cause brain damage.... This was a classic case of too much information..  Because today's scanning equipment is so detailed and accurate, more and more anomalies are picked up during pregnancy than ever were before. Choroid Plexus Cysts were normally not even mentioned - even if present, as 95% no not cause any problems what so ever, and only did get mentioned if they are still apparent much later in the pregnancy... I know sometimes it's good to know - but sometimes it's not..

 

WELCOME LAUREN.

 

Yes - the Corke household increased by 1 last year.... Lauren Harriet Corke was born on the 4th October, around 11am.

 

The following couple of months were pretty hard to be honest. Unlike Kristen, Lauren wasn't a particularly happy newborn, and she wasn't to keen on sleeping during the day either...  Not only would she not sleep, but she didn't want to do anything, but be held..

 

10 weeks later, she was like a different child, smiling, and happy - the way we remember newborns to be... For the first time in a while, Karen and I stopped thinking "what the hell had we done".... An air of relative peace and harmony had descended over the Corke's household..

 

Today is our 4th wedding anniversary. Three things this morning made me particularly proud:-

 

1. That my wife has put up with me for so long..

2. Lauren woke up, and shouted "Mum"...

3. Kristen asked to go down the pub !!...

 

Happy 2007....

 

 

 

 

 

That is not a reference to 5 years of excess Rum and Sun...

 

It's that time where Madam junior is being taught toilet etiquette... A happy time of wet carpet, and dry potty - but I'm sure we'll look back at this a smile - SOMEDAY !!!!..

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why do I need to be potty trained? Is it something I'll use later in life? Will it help me to get into a good college? Do chicks dig guys who are potty trained?”

OK, OK after weeks of complaints from the wife, I have finally got around to updating my Blog..

 

Life is very good. Summer is here, and as of last weekend, Karen and I actually bit the bullet, and went for a swim. The water still feels chilly, but at 77 degrees - we couldn't really complain.

 

Kristen is talking.. talking .... talking.... talking ... She seems to have inherited  her mum's jaw muscles...

Potty training is scheduled to start sometime this week - so we could be calling in the carpet cleaners very soon.

 

As summer has arrived, so have the bloody ants... But it was with great pleasure, that I showed Kristen the subtle art of ant-bashing, with my size 10 shoe - the sheer look of enjoyment on her face made me so proud....

We rented Kong out this weekend, as the special effects were supposed to be very good, in fact they were so good, that the ending left my Better Half balling her eyes out 'in admiration'.....

 

Bullets didn't kill Kong - Beauty did - sniff, sniff, whimper, whimper... It must be the hormones !!...

 

It's not often that being stuck in a line a traffic makes us laugh, but this weekend was an exception..

 

Queued waiting for the temporary traffic lights to change on Middle road, we were surprised to see a taxi overtake us, speed through the red light, to take a side road off to off to the left... Our surprise then turned to peels of laughter, as he was immediately followed by the police bike, that was queued behind him !!... We were laughing so hard, the car was rocking !!...

 

 

I spent Friday and Saturday evening (thanks wife), at the Bermuda High School watching the Worlds best squash players battling it out.... There is much to admire in these players, and even more to admire in the "Staff" pass that I managed to get my pudgey little hands on. Not only did this ticket provide copious amounts of free  booze (including a very odd Martini bar), but also a vast variety and quantity of food  was also laid out...

 

Needless to say - I made myself very much at home !!..

 

After the final, I ended up at Shed 6 at the "Wrap" party, where I had chance to have a chat with the World No 1 Amr Shabana , and then a little later, with the beaten finalist Peter Nicol.. The difference between these two guys on the court was minimal, the difference in these two people off court was huge !!.

 

Firstly, I hadn't expected to see the World No 1 knocking back rum and coke, while chain smoking !!..  Secondly, after talking to him about his win, and the squash tournament lifestyle, I was surprised at what a nice, down to earth, normal guy he was !!.. 

 

Peter Nicol was another surprise... Being a fellow Brit, and after speaking to Amr, I expected Mr Nicol to be similarly likable.. How wrong can you be...  Lets just say he may have been a little fatigued, but there is no justification for bad mouthing the Country in which you are playing, or acting like a second rate John Mc Enroe.. I only wish he could read this - as I'd give him 2 pieces of advice.

 

1. He could learn a great deal on and off court from Amr.

2. If you are going to pay for 'imported' groupies - at least pay for pretty ones next time !!...

 

Well the 2 1/2 weeks vacation in the Uk simply flew by... The grandparents by now, but have just about caught their collective breaths, and are no doubt sat down with a much deserved nice cup of tea.. Strangely for the UK, the weather was chilly, with the sky displaying a wide variety of grey colours.... Apparently there is a water shortage on - which judging by the rain that fell on most days, is very puzzling.

 

We definitely made the most of the local casino, and by the end of out trip we hadn't lost any money - which is a huge bonus for us....

 

Madam had a great holiday, and by the time we'd left, she'd fully trained both sets of Grandparents in fetching, playing and serving food on demand !!!.. Job well done !!...

 

 

 

 

Well we're off to Jolly old England this evening for so much needed R+R (Rum and  Red bull ).... We have the daunting prospect of an 8 hour flight mixed with a 19 month old Kristen - just add liberal amount of tantrum, with a touch of insomnia, and it all points to a great flight !!!.. Our hopes are pined on a swift dose of Nighttime Tixylicks !!..

 

There's nothing quite like that first breath of cold, jet-fuel laden air hitting the lungs, to remind you that you're back at Gatwick, followed by circumnavigating the M25 in Friday morning rush hour !!...

 

Oh well, by this time tomorrow Friday, we'll be comfortably in situ at Karen's parents house - quite likely with a large alcoholic beverage in my hand !!... Oh the joys of a like-minded pops-in-law !!..

 

 

Cheers !!...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today was Kristen's 18month checkup, which included 2 injections... We duly held a crying  Kristen still, while the doctor administered the 2 jabs.... Crying - Kristen then stood up, looked straight at the doctor, and said "What you doing ?"... It was absolutely classic.....

Today was the first KinderMusik class for Kristen. Mummy Corke has been dreading this day for some time, thinking that the class would be full of middle aged, middle class, cliquey, Hollywood mum wanna-bees... Well unfortunately, she wasn't disappointed...... That's exactly the kind of class it was.... Thankfully Kristen had a great time, whilst Karen was left in need of a 6-pack of Stella......

 

Maybe by next week, Karen will have mastered the twirling hanky song .......

I am such a proud father..

 

I asked Kristen if she had pop-popped this morning.....

 

She went bright red, and duley farted, with a big grin on her face..... Fart-on-demand !!..

 

That's my girl !!!!....

It was 51 degrees at 6 am this morning.. The radiators were turned on, and we sat and slowly defrosted.... All except madam, who was so snug and cosy in her heated bedroom, under her 2 quilts, that she slept until after 7 !!!....

40 minutes trapped in a hospital room, with nothing to keep a child entertained except for a plastic bin and some crust encased Children's books from the 1960's !!.. Oh what joy....

 

In the words of Kristen "I go outside !!!!"...

 

Well, the doctor came in, trimmed her nail, and after pinning Kristen down (WWF style), the splinter was extracted... The squealing stopped immediately - as Karen pulled herself together.....

 

 

It looks like madam has a splinter running the length of her fingernail - so we're off to the emergency room, as our Pediatrician doesn't have a pair of tweezers small enough !!!...

 

What a glorious weekend - warm and sunny, with Utd beating Liverpool - what man could a man want ??

 

Saturday morning, I played squash, and got my butt well kicked.. In the afternoon, we went  to the park, and fed the ducks... There were quite a few children around, and Kristen is quite happy to chat away to them, telling them that she's fed the quack quacks...

 

Sunday morning was very laid back... We went for a drive to St Georges, stopping off at the park on the way, where Kristen was quite happy to just play with the gravel !!..

We then went on to the Coffee shop in St Georges, which is run by the Mayor of St Georges. This is a great place to chill on a Sunday morning.. They play very relaxing music, in a wonderfully quiet setting.. The coffee is very good, and the cheese scones are mouth watering, and well worth 10 - 20 grams of carbs.  .. The service that the  owner provides  is superb, always very friendly and eager to help.. This is the best way of chilling with a coffee on a Sunday morning - the only thing missing, is a copy of the Sunday Times !!..

 

We got back to Hamilton around 11.10 - just enough time to shower before heading down to Docksider to watch Utd end another Premiership winning streak... Ha ha ha Liverpool...

 

After a quick snooze in the afternoon, we were off fora walk over to the harbour, to feed the fish..

 

Ahhh - life is so stressful !!.

What kind of masochist agrees to play squash at 6.30am, after a very pleasant night on the Tiles with Mrs Corke ??... 

 

Already dehydrated from yesterday's squash, and evening of vodka and Feisty juice evaporated what moisture was left in my body... So to make things better - you go out and play another game !!!!.

 

There is only one thing for it tonite - vodka, lime and ginger beer re-hydration !!!..

 

Let the weekend begin !!..